Sidelines National Support Network  / Volunteer Spotlight  / October_Volunteer

Volunteer of the Month
October 2009
Denise Arsenault

Sidelines volunteer Denise Arsenault with her daughters, Madelyn and Kaitlyn

Name: Denise Arsenault
Home: Kenosha, Wisconsin
Husband's Name: Ross
Children's Names and Ages: Living children—Kaitlyn Leigh, age 6, and Madelyn Nicole, 5 years old.  Jocelyn Elizabeth, who passed away at three-and-a-half months old, would be 8 years old, and Bianca, who was born still, was Madelyn’s identical twin.

"I was scared that I was going to lose another baby, and I wanted to talk to someone who knew exactly what I was going through without judging me, thinking I was weak."

Sidelines volunteer Denise Arsenault was told at age 15 that she would never get pregnant or be able to carry a pregnancy to term.  After her first two miscarriages, she thought that was indeed the case.

Her third pregnancy, with Jocelyn, was "a very stressful 42 weeks," Denise remembers.  In spite of the many complications—extreme morning sickness, hospitalization, a developmental ultrasound that showed a defect in Jocelyn's heart, and third-trimester premature labor—she carried her to 42 weeks and delivered by emergency c-section.  Jocelyn had open heart surgery at 11 days old and developed pulmonary arterial hypertension at two months old.

"She lived in the ICU for the five weeks of her life," Denise explained. "She died at 15 weeks old, almost to the minute.  This led me to be high-risk for any other pregnancy more than ever before."

Two more miscarriages followed before Denise became pregnant with Kaitlyn.  During that pregnancy, she had ultrasounds every three weeks and went into pre-term labor twice.  She delivered Kaitlyn by emergency c-section at 35 weeks due to a lack of fluid and complications with pre-eclampsia.

"Sidelines helped me through the last few months of my pregnancy with bedrest, hospitalization, and sadness for losing my other baby and wondering if it would happen again," she said.  "That is when I decided I wanted to help women like me.  I went to get my counseling/psychology degree and volunteered through Sidelines."

She then lost twins at 10 weeks gestation and decided that she "was done," only to find out eight weeks later that she was pregnant again.  Put on modified bedrest from the start, Denise put her volunteer status on hold and became a Sidelines referral again.

She discovered she was again pregnant with twins, and after several weeks of bleeding, one of the twins was no longer visible.  Madelyn continued to grow, so worries of twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome disappeared.  

At 27 weeks, Denise again developed pre-eclampsia, and at 33 weeks, she went into pre-term labor.  At the hospital, she was rushed into the operating room for an emergency c-section due to placental abruption.  Madelyn was born healthy, and Bianca was born still, with her death estimated at around 21 weeks.

"My buddy was great throughout this time.  She really didn't know what to say, but she was there for me to vent to," Denise said.

What Denise remembers most about her high-risk pregnancies was wondering if she were going to have a healthy baby at the end of it.  After eight pregnancies, the "what ifs" consumed her thoughts.

One of Denise's first "buddy experiences" involved a mom-to-be who lost her baby to miscarriage after trying to get pregnant for years.  Denise never stopped her contact with the referral, and when she decided to try again, she wanted Denise there every step of the way.  After 14 months, Denise was thrilled when she delivered a healthy baby boy.  

Another of Denise's most memorable referrals was a mom-to-be whose husband had asked for a divorce shortly after she became pregnant.  The referral, who had an older son as well, had complications from the beginning of the pregnancy.

"I was there for her when no one else was, and she still lets me know how much I meant to her and how much I mean to her son," Denise said.  "Even though I wasn't there in person, I was there for her in spirit, and that helped her carry on."

A proud stay-at-home mom, Denise urges her referrals to stay positive. "It might be hard, but it can help the negativity that comes with high-risk pregnancy easier to deal with and a bit less stressful," she said. "Remember to vent instead of holding it inside."

In addition to taking care of her family, Denise enjoys fundraising for Relay for Life, reading, baking, and having fun with family and friends.  She also is trying to write a book.

"I have been so happy being a Sidelines volunteer," she said. "It is an amazing feeling when you hear that your buddy has given birth to a healthy baby."